Harry Potter: Alive or Dead?
by corntey K
Summary: When Dementors go hunting no one is safe. But that's not always bad. That's how this story, a story full of the hardest of a war and the strongest of love, started. (Slash) New Chapters up!
1. Chapter one

This will be my first Harry Potter fanfic, I hope you enjoy it. The wonderful Sorelina has edited this story for me and I really appreciate it! I love you gurl! hugs

**Okay, for future reference:** _Letters_ and _dreams _in this story will be put in to italic's.

Okay! Lets get going!

**Disclaimer:** No, I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. does!

**Warning!** This story is PG-13 due to the fact that there is going to be some bloody action and later there will be some romance that won't be to graphic. - MuhWhahahah! Also, this is a Harry/Remus slash! But will have some Ron and Hermione fluff, later in the story

**Harry Potter: Alive or Dead? **

Chapter One: Sirius's screams and Dementor attacks.

Harry sat perched on his bedroom's windowsill, looking dreamily at the darkening sky. The young wizard craved to mount the Firebolt, tucked away in the closet, letting the cool wind whip around his slim frame as he kicked off the ground. Wishing for nothing more than some seconds of peace of mind and the feeling of his troubles melting away as he rode speedily through the night.

Unfortunately, nothing could make the lump of sorrow stop from rising in Harry's throat at the memory of Sirius. Sirius Black. The man who plagued his thoughts night and day, constantly reminding Harry that it was his fault the man died. Sirius was his godfather who had only recently perished by the hands of a loathsome Death Eater but still it Harry new it was his faultVoldermort had tricked him and his godfather came gallantly to his rescue, only to be killed.

Now, he felt utterly alone. Of course, Harry still had Ron, Hermione, and many members of the Order of the Phoenix who cared for him, but it wasn't the same. Sirius had been his last bit of real family. Well, he did have the Dursleys, but he hardly thought they qualified. I mean, could you really call someone family, when they used to lock you up in a cupboard, and still call you an abnormal freak?

Suddenly, a flapping of wings brought the boys out of his thoughts. Looking up he saw Pig (Ron's very small owl) hurtle into his cramped bedroom. Harry caught the Owl right in mid-air and took the letter it held in its little claws. Hastily he read:

_Harry,_

Not much news on You-Know-Who, but my Dad talked to Dumbledore and says you should be able to leave really soon. Sorry you're stuck there, mate. Dumbledore reckons it's still safer than any other place he can offer though. Well, that's what Dad said he told him, anyways. Oh! Hermione is coming here this week, her Mum and Dad had to go away on business, they said she could stay with us for the rest of the summer.

_Bet you can't wait to get back to school and go out on to the Qudditch field since you're no longer banned now that Dumbledor's back. I look forward to it myself. As, long as I don't have to hear "Weasley's our King," from the Slytherins anymore. _

_Well I have got to go help Mum clean. Yuk._

_Ron._

Harry felt his stomach twist in an unpleasant way as he read Ron's letter once again, and then several more times. Would Dumbledore force him to stay the whole summer with the Dursleys? Then, looking down at the letter and rereading the part about Qudditch, he felt his lips curl in to a small grin. Yes, he would be able to fly after the snitch once more. This thought seemed to put the boy at ease.

Reaching for some paper, he scribbled a quick note to his friend:

_Ron,_

_You bet I can't wait to play some Qudditch! I'd like nothing more then to beat Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherins this year, good way to blow off some stress!_

_Malfoy._

_Bloody git._

_Anyway, I can't wait to see you and Hermione. Keep me updated on what's happening. _

_Harry._

With that, he gave the letter to Pig, whom took off immediately, after eating a few treats Harry fed to him. Flopping down on his pillow, Harry began to drift off in to sleep. Soon enough he was dreaming once more, like he did almost ever night. His dreams of late were not Voldermort's thoughts, but they seemed as real.

_Running. He was running, surrounded by crying faces. Who were they? A man with messy hair, much like his own and a woman with brilliant green eyes. Why were they crying? Then the two people seemed to disappear as quickly as they had come, replaced by a handsome man with long black hair. It was Sirius, who seemed happy, dueling with a smug smile plastered on his face, showing off a confidence few have. _

_Abruptly, the happiness Sirius held in his eyes died out when he began to fall. "No!" Harry yelled, realizing what was about to happen._

_Then, a sound like no other. Sirius screamed while falling through the Veil._

"_HARRY! HELP ME!" _

The sheer terror that his godfather held when he screamed awakened him, for it had sounded so real. He had never heard his godfather scream so loudly, nor had he ever seen his face that scared. Even when Sirius escaped Azkaban and was threatened by dementors, he did not look as somber as he did in Harry's dream.

Panting, he sat up, then for the first time since his arrival at the Dursley's, began to wildly sob, thrashing his hands against the floor, as he fell to his knees. "Why!" he bellowed. "Why'd you have to take Sirius? I NEED HIM! HAVEN'T YOU TAKEN ENOUGH?" He yelled this, angry at God or whatever it was out there determined to make his life a living hell.

Harry abruptly hushed himself, he didn't feel like having his Uncle awoken due to him crying, coarse it was a miracle that the man hadn't already appeared from all the noise Harry had made.

Then, after a moment, he got off the floor and reached to open his window, needing some fresh air to cool off. But he stopped, frozen to the spot. Outside his window, dark figures fluttered around the black sky. The boy's room temperature seem to drop at an alarming rate, he could now see his breath coming out in little white puffs.

Dementors. Tons of Dementors glided around the Dursley's house, trying to get inside.

"What! What are they doing here?" Harry thought, but he suddenly remembered Dumbledore saying the Dementors would serve Voldermort like they once had before. So, they had finally come back to their master. Damn.

Shaking his head of all thoughts, he simply acted on impulse, picking up his wand and running out of his room. There was so many Dementors outside Harry could feel what happiness he had left being sucked dry from inside the house, which meant, the Dursley's were probably being effected as well. That would explain why no one came running to yell at him as he crashed down the stairs and burst out of the front door. He had to get rid of these Dementors before they hurt someone, Harry thought desperately. That fact being the only thought that kept him sane as he went out on the front lawn, to face what had to be thirty hooded creatures that could kiss away his soul.

Mustering up the happiest thought he could in this situation, (being when Hermione had punched Malfoy in their third year), he then screamed at the top of his lungs-

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

With that, a huge stag burst from his wand (which he had nicknamed Prongs after his dad), in a blinding white light that pushed the Dementors back. But more seemed to go overhead of Harry. His heart was pounding in his ears.

Stumbling back toward the house, he tripped and hit the concrete sidewalk hard, feeling the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth.

He quickly turned in time to see a Dementor leaning down upon him, but Prongs had disappeared by that moment. "This is it, I'm going to die!" he thought, but then a strong defiance rose up with in Harry. "No. I'm not going to die; I will not lay down my life for that bastard of a Dark Lord. I'll go down fighting like my Mum, Dad, and S-Sirius!" he howled at the Dementors who seemed to be unaffected by his sudden burst of courage

With that Harry shouted, "EXPECTO PATRONUM" again, letting Prongs come to his aid. Then, before his helper could disappear, he backed into the house and, wishing he owned floo powder (and a clear hearth to use it), he picked a piece of parchment and scribbled a quick note.

Order of the Phoenix,

Anyone, come now! Tons of dementors. Need help!

Harry.

With that he grabbed Hedwig from upstairs and sent her in to the sky, hoping she could weave herself around the grim figures that floated in the ebony cloaked night. As Harry watched the owl, she managed to get through, beyond the danger.

Now all Harry could do was wait inside his house, which was becoming slowly unbearable. The Dementors, even though at a distance seem to weaken him badly. He slumped back on to his hard wood bedroom floor, wondering if the Dursleys had gone loony by now.

A thick line of blood began trailing down his chin, from where he bit his tongue as he landed on the concrete outside. Thoughts becoming fuzzy, his head seemed to swim with aching pain. Blackness began to come down like a blanket over his eyes, then he was out cold.

Harry was startled when he woke, due to the fact it was still pitch black when he opened his eyes. He could only make outthe glint of the man's eyes that seemed to be shaking his shoulders roughly. "Harry! Are you alright?" the man asked in an urgent whisper that had a raspy sound to it. The boy new that voice, it was Lupin's.

"Yes, I'm fine," he spoke.

"Good," sighed Remus. "Now, I just need to figure out if anyone's close enough to reach us quickly."

Harry let these words sink in and realized he was still lying on his bedroom floor at the Dursley's. "You came alone? How did you get past the Dementor's?"

"I'm not sure how I did, bloody miracle," he said, laughing nervously, almost hysterically. Then straightening up, he chanted something to his wand and then a blue haze of smoke burst from the stick, showing a clear picture of Mad-eye Moody. "Moody! We've got trouble, a growing number of Dementors coming together at Harry's. Get the others!" And just like that, Moody nodded and the picture disappeared.

Then Lupin quickly mentioned, "I put you Uncle, Aunt, and cousin in the basement. I told them they should remain there if they didn't want to die". Harry smiled at this. The Dursleys must be scared out of the minds right now, but then again hadn't he been scared only moments ago? He felt a pang of guilt hit him, even the Dursley's didn't deserve this kind of punishment.

Remus was now looking at Harry who reclined against the wall, then paused when he saw the boys chin. Blood oozed down his face and Lupin found himself taken back by the sight. "Your mouth's bleeding!" said the werewolf in alarm, reaching up to wipe the crimson from Harry's jaw. Then the Professors eyes grew big when the boy held Remus's hand to his face. "I'm fine," he sighed in to the older man's hand. After a minute Harry released Lupin's hand and closed his eyes.

Then Harry suddenly found something sweet being shoved in to his swollen lips.

"Chocolate," was all Lupin said, as he removed his hand from Harry's mouth.

It was like lickety-split, **and **blinding lights from the outside illuminated the whole Dursley's house Spells where being thrown every way and Harry noticed his old Professor was now standing, getting ready to go out to battle.

"I'm going to help," Harry demanded.

"No!" Lupin said, more forcefully than he had intended to.

"Why not?"

"We can't risk you getting hurt."

"But-" the boy was going to complain more, but Remus cut him off.

"Think about Sirius, Harry! What would he say! Did he not die to protect you, as did your Mum and Dad!" Immediately he regretted mentioning the boy's godfather and his best friend because a sudden dread came in to Harry's eyes. Making him seem more venerable and childlike than Remus had ever seen him.

After that Harry did not say a word and Lupin soundlessly slipped out of the boy's room, towards the fight.

A minute passed, then another, and a couple more. The tension was getting to Harry. He could no longer stand staying in his room. Even if that is not what Sirius would want, he was too scared at the moment that he might lose someone else that was important to him. Remus.

His guilt gone, he flew down the stairs with no effort. Then, flinging the front door open, he stepped out in to the cool air. The Dementors seemed to be backing off, but there was still a great deal of them. Harry could see Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, Mundungus, Mr. Weasley, and Lupin all fighting to keep the Dementors away.

A popping sound made its way to Harry's ears. He raised his head to see Dumbledore across the yard, poising his wand for a fight. When everyone saw Dumbledore, Harry knew exactly what they were thinking, for he had thought it to, when they were all battling in the Ministry of Magic. They all thought they were saved, but Harry couldn't help to think Sirius died even though Dumbledore made it last time.

A loud crashing sound echoed threw the night. Harry snapped his head around to find what had made it. Then his eyes stopped dead on the crumpled form of Lupin, who was lifelessly lying on the dewy grass. "Professor!" Harry shouted in terror. Everyone was fighting to hard to notice the great peril Remus was in, leaving it up to Harry to save him, if he wasn't already dead.

Without thinking, he ran over to the still form, taking his wand out, urgently calling forth his stag. Then, a force from behind knocked him off his feet. In the distance he heard a woman scream and several pairs of feet crossing the lawn, but they wouldn't make it. Harry could feel everything being sucked from him, his happiness, the very will to live. Then he felt nothing, everything shut down in his body, he could no longer think, talk or move.

"WHAM!"

Harry must had jumped fifty feet in to the air, making the small group of people encircling him, step back in shock. It was like his entire body was jolted awake, and he could suddenly breathe. Then a pair of concern worn eyesstared down at him. Dumbledore's.

"Are you all right Harry?" the man said, worriedly.

"Fine," was all Harry managed to say before his eyes widened in panic. "Where's Professor Lupin! Is he alright! He's n-not d-dea…"

"No, Harry. I'm fine" Lupin said, kneeling down towards the boy, who was shaking violently.

"Mundungus. Mad-eye. Go an take care of the Dursleys," Dumbledore interjected, then rose. "I'll escort Harry back to Grimmauld Place with everyone else."

With that they dispatched to follow their orders.

Tonks extended her hand forward to help Harry off the ground, which he took gratefully, swaying on his feet, trying desperately to keep balanced. He began to fall, but luckily Remus caught him and proceeded to carry the boy. "I'll apparate with Harry," Lupin said to Dumbledore, who nodded.

That's all for now! Sorry the story's moving along kind of slow, I promise the next chapter will be better. It will explain what's going on with Volder-douche. Grr….me no like him! It will also explain why the heck know one was guarding Harry's house…like one of the Phoenix members…where were they! Hmmm. Also, Harry will begin to see Remy in a new light. -


	2. chapter two

A/N: This has taken me a while to post! I just want to say thanks to Sorelina for editing this for me! SHE'S THE BEST!

Also...I had to give out a lot of information in this chapter, so it didn't really come out as good as I'd hoped, but the next chapter will be much better.

Disclaimer: No. I do not own Harry Potter the wonderful J.K. Rowling does, of course!

Harry Potter: Dead or Alive?

Thunder crashed, while two men conversed in a gloomy graveyard just outside of Godric's Hollow. Their words were muffled, but this could be heard:

"You've done well to bring me this information," hissed the taller of the men, decked out in a hooded ebony cloak. "I'm sure this can be used to our advantage."

"Aye, my lord. But what of him?" Hesitated the other figure.

"Do you think I can't outsmart that buffoon?"

"No, master, that's n-not what I meant."

"Then question me no longer! I'll contact you soon!"

Every part of the boy's body ached, including his scar thatstill tingled with pain. He'd been tossing about, having the strangest dream (which was no surprise), but now Harry was finding it hard to keep the fragments of the dream together. Unfortunately the memories of what happened dimmed, falling through the cracks of his mind, lost forever.

Now fully awake, the gears in the wizard's mind began to click and quickly Harry's eyes popped open as a torrent of realization of what happened that night flooded his mind. The understanding of what had taken place at the Dursley's was now coming back to him.

Dementors.

Dementors had come to Privet DriveOn Voldermort's orders, Harry could confidently assume. Soon Remus arrived, there after other Phoenix members came. Everyone fought bravely until the Dementors retreated. Whenthe battle ended, Remus was ok (or so it seemed), but then Harry passed out, completely drained from the nights dangerous "festivities".

All this left the young mans head buzzing with questions, though none as important as...

"Where am I?" Harry moaned, reaching out to grab his glasses on a table beside the bed he resided in. Hastily, the Boy-Who-Lived pulled the black spectacles over his elfish nose, and then lifted his head to digest the surroundings.

Ancient was the first word Harry's mind summoned when looking around the dark room, its only source of illumination coming from the lightning put forth by the heavy storm raging outside. The walls seemed to have a yellowish decaying tinge to them; and even the fluffy chairs that had been placed around the fireplace looked haggard.

Rising slowly from under the bed's thick, warm sheets, Harry clutched his stomach as a minor jolt of pain washed over him. Working with his sore limbs, he then proceeded to the door, then beyond it until the youth found a tiny kitchen. There, sitting on a small mahogany stool, wasRemus. Harry could tell the man was heavily thinking by the many lines that tarnished his pale, but handsome face.

"Remus?" The teen spoke, wondering if his former teacher was really ok.

The adult's head snapped up at the velvety voice calling his name and his own amber eyes met a pair of startling green orbs.

"Harry!" The man said, dumbfounded by the juvenile's presence. "You should be resting! After every thing that's happened tonight…"

"I don't think I could sleep another wink," Harry interrupted; pulling another stool up to the somewhat medieval looking table Remus sat by. Then putting his elbows on the table top and placing his chin comfortably in his hands, he began to speak uncertainly, "Are you really okay Remus? What the heck's going on? Where are we?"

Letting the questions sink in, Lupin tried to think of an easy way to tell Harry everything he needed to without shocking the boy, which he was sure to do despite his effort to "drop the bomb" easily.

"Well. I'm confident you already have a suspicion as to why Dementors were at Privet Drive, it was Voldermort's doing of coarse. My understanding is that the he could not bring himself to Privet Drive, since there is ancient magic that repels him from your Aunt's house, therefore he sent Dementors."

"But why didn't Mrs. Figg inform someone that Dementors had attacked? The only reason you came is because of the owl I sent, right?"

"Correct. I did receive your owl and yes, Filch and Mundungus were watching over you. Mrs. Figg had other business to attend to."

"Why Filch? He's a squib and not even a member of the order!"

"Let me just say that Mrs. Figg is not capable of magic either, but her and Filch both had their purposes. In all honesty Filch wasn't there to keep guard over you; it was more for Mundungus's sake. I think Dumbledore was afraid he'd leave his post….again."

"Oh," Harry grinned, biting back a laugh.

"Now this part of the story is a bit odd. Filch owled that Mundungus had left on an urgent call, but did not say who it was from. And now Filch has disappeared, while there's still no trace of Mundungus."

"You don't think they're dead…," Harry whispered.

"We can only hope not," Remus replied.

"And you... Are you still in pain from the attack?" Harry said worriedly.

"Pish-posh, I'm fine, so don't go worrying yourself on my account. We are currently safe at my house in Scotland. Grimmauld Place was our former destination, but then Dumbledore decided it wasn't safe," then he paused. "Now this is important Harry, and I know you'll be upset, but just know I'm here for you. The thing is, you can no longer stay in Privet Drive..."

As the werewolf spoke these words, the young wizard surely thought the man had lost his marbles. Why would Harry - I mean, how could he possibly be upset about not having to stay with the Dursleys anymore! But Remus continued to speak.

"Because the Dursley's are no longer there."

"What…," Harry started hesitantly. "Where they captured?"

"No, not captured," Lupin said somberly. "They are being contained at St. Mungo's; they have gone insane because of the Dementors. Even though the Dursleys were inside the house, with the proximity of the Dementors your family could'nt stand the effects of the attack."

"Listen to me Harry; this is not your fault."

Harry nodded glumly, but in his head he knew it was his fault the Dursleys had cracked. If he'd left the Dursleys none of this would have happened, but had it not been Dumbledore who had forced him to stay there? An old hate soon began to rise up with in him for Dumbledore, anger Harry thought he'd long ago overcome now raged through his veins.

Damn Dumbledore. If he hadn't been made to stay with the Dursleys they might not have ended up in St. Mungo's. It wasn't as if Harry had liked the Dursleys, but their insanity was just another weight on his conscience. It was a sharp reminder that everything Uncle Vernon said held more truth than the man could ever possibly known.

He was a worthless abnormal freak who managed to hurt everyone, foes and loved ones.

Even though what had happened to the Dursley's was horriable, back in the corner of Harry's mind, he couldn't help but think that at least he wouldn't be stuck in that damn house anymore. Hell, the Dursley's had been mean to him his whole life. He couldn't grieve for them, it just wasn't in his heart to.

Harry and Remus were silent for a moment longer before Harry asked, "So, why are we at your house then?"

Remus suddenly looked nervous, "Well, I've been appointed as a sort of secret keeper for you by the order, until a more appropriate person is found. I'm sorry if you don't like the idea of staying…."

"NO! I think it's brilliant!" Harry shouted, once again cutting the older man off. His words seem to make Lupin's eyes gleam in appreciation of the boy's enthusiasm towards staying.

"I'm glad you're not upset, since you will be here with me for the rest of the summer, until school begins," Remus said with a small smile creeping over his face. "It will be nice to have some company for once."

Harry couldn't help, but feel his heart twitch at Remus's words. Yes, the man once said he was often shun for being a werewolf, which certainly explained why he received little company, people probably thought the man would tear their limbs off and decapitate them or some nonsense.

Suddenly Harry wanted nothing, but to forget his problems and focus on Remus. The man needed some attention. Attention Harry was more then willing to give.

Then, abruptly, Harry remembered his "curse", the problem of endangering everyone he held close.

"Actually Remus, do you think it's a good idea to stay with me? Everyone that I'm near of seems to always get hurt, and I don't want that to happen to you…" Harry trailed off.

"By being a member of The Order of the Phoenix, I'm obliged to take risks, but it is not you that puts people in danger, Harry. If you wish to blame someone, blame Voldermort," Remus said with building fury.

"Okay," Harry said, slightly taken back by Remus's answer.

"Well then, the room you were in will be yours for the summer. I'm sorry it's not that cozy, but I wasn't warned that you'd be staying with me."

"It's fine, Rem"

"Rem?"

Harry blushed, "Oh, that's a little nickname I thought up. I won't call you that if it bothers you."

Lupin eyes glazed, "No, I like it. Well, off to bed with you." And with that Harry left.

Harry silently sat in the grass watching Rem tend to his small vegetable garden in the back of the house. The werewolf's hands forcefully pulling up weeds.

It was an uncomfortably hot July day, Harry's birthday to be exact.

"Sorry Harry, I'm almost done with the weeds," Remus sighed.

"No rush"

"No rush? It's your birthday; I've got to make sure you have fun!" Lupin howled (figuratively speaking).

Laughing Harry countered, "I think you have plenty of time to have fun with me, its only 9am."

"With all I have planned I'm not sure," Remus said winking at Harry, whom immediately turned a soft shade of pink. "As a matter of fact, I'm done gardening. I'll clean up and we can head to Diagon Alley."

Remus apparated them to their destination, where the aging man succeeded in dragging Harry in to a wizards clothing store.

"You don't need to buy me a whole new wardrobe, Rem!"

"Nonsense. You certainly need clothes and this is your birthday, now go try on those outfits."

"Fine," Harry said moving in to a changing room, them came to a halt before entering. "You don't have to wait out here, the dressing rooms are enormous."

For some reason Lupin felt weird about being in the changing room with Harry, but he reluctantly replied:

"Alright"

Harry slipped his T-shit over his pale, sleek torso, not caring that it messed his hair up even more than normal. Then he moved to slip his oversized slacks (which had been Dudley's) down his hips. All of a sudden the sixteen year old wizard's motions slowed when he caught Rem's fiery eyes boldly staring intently at him.

Did he have something on him? When he found nothing the boy began dressing in the new outfits, but when the new silky black pants reached his waist the Boy-Who-Lived (sadly) began fumbling with the button.

When Remus watched the boy take off his clothes (besides his boxers), he then fully appreciated how beautiful Harry truly was. The young mans muscles were tight, but Harry looked all together fragile and it made the werewolf very….flustered.

No.

NO!

Remus mentally smacked himself as these thoughts entered his mind. "What would James think if he knew you were gawking at his son's body like a damn wolf? Well, scratch that because, technically, you are a wolf," Rem thought, frustrated.

But when Harry's motions slowed at his thighs, Lupin tensed. The teen's movements then became normal once more, but he seemed to be having trouble with the button on his pants.

Before he even realized, Lupin had moved to the floor in front of Harry. The teen looked down at the kneeling man, quickly turning scarlet. Without hesitation Remus reached out toward Harry's pants to help very slowly, taking his time. The man finally managed to button the boy up, then reached the young adults zipper and slowly pulled it up. Harry shifted his body in that very moment, resulting in Rem's hand fully touching the boy's crotch. Remus horrified, snatched his hand away.

Harry released and involuntary groan.


End file.
